© Copyright 01-01-09 by Forfyv
“I got so depressed, that I jumped, and SPLAT, I ended up here. What about you?” said one grease spot to the other.
Have you ever noticed that most women seem to have one breast that is larger than the other? I like that, seems to give them something to worry about while I get their clothes off.
I was wondering why correctly seasoned cast iron cookware is black. I figured it out! The aliens don’t know the secret to seasoning cast iron, so as soon as you are not looking, they steal your cookware and replace it with a carbon copy!
Have you ever noticed that people who get eaten by alligators almost always look like pizza toppings?
We use tongs, they use gongs, that’s why!
“This is a universal emergency notification! Do NOT panic! The computer made an error, the answer is NOT 42. Please stay tuned for more information. This has been an emergency universal notification!”
I really like looking at women who wear short skirts and no panties.
Of course the hero saved the girl, and got laid! If he had not saved the girl, he would be a loser. If he didn’t get laid, we wouldn’t have any more heroes!
Wouldn’t it be really cool if we could imagine ‘ANYTHING’!! Let’s try that next time!
They say the atmosphere gets thinner as it gets further from the earth. I dunno, seems to me it’s gotta get thicker, because if it’s not solid by the time it gets out to the moon and stars, the law of gravity means they would crash down on us. Right?
He wondered why no one liked him, as he stood alone, with his machine gun smoking, and looked at all the bodies around him.
I noticed that one clean attractive woman smells like an aphrodisiac, but a bunch of dirty women, no matter how attractive, still smell like a bunch of dirty women. Just thought I’d mention it.
If you printed everything on the internet, you’d probably have to get a new printer, and maybe more ink too.
If a female dog ate a cat, that means the bitch eats pussy, right?
Sooo, tell me that’s never happened, yeah right!
Ask her if she likes to eat chicken, most do. Then wonder out loud if them chickens were male. I dunno, might work!
I really like good music, that’s why I don’t sing.
If a blind man is smiling at a good looking gal, ya gotta figure he’s faking it. You should try to trip him, and steal the girl.
Oh yeah, I was trying to make a pizza, the alligator wanted my arm. He won.
Happy New Year!!
huggles
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