© Copyright 2-24-08 by 45 Mike
Gosh, all that technical stuff is just way over my head! Too many Knobs and Buttons and stuff!
Seriously you already DO know how to program!
You do it every day!
A “program” is a set of instructions. If you can give someone your email address, or directions to the bank, or cook an egg you are a “programmer”!
Huh? Yeah, if your email is knothead@delete.com, then if someone asks you for your email address, you can write it down and give it to them right?
Or you could just say out loud, “K-N-O-T-H-E-A-D AT D-E-L-E-T-E DOT COM”.
Either way, you gave them instructions, and that my furry friend is programming!
Now, let’s say that you are talking to someone on the phone and they are trying to get to your bank. Or maybe even better let’s imagine this is a text message conversation.
Let’s follow along, ok?
Hi Knot, how do I get to your bank?
Hi Furry, where are you now?
(note: nice to know where you are starting from, eh?)
I’m sitting on your couch in your living room!
(note: yeah sometimes people actually do this.)
OK, get off my couch and walk out my front door, turn left and walk down the steps and out my driveway until you get to the street, let me know when you are at the street, but don’t go INTO the street yet, someone might run you over.
OK, I am outside at the street, now what?
Good, turn right, and walk alongside the street until you come to another street, let me know when you get to that other street, but don’t go onto that street, some of the people driving are nuts.
OK, I turned right and walked until I came to another street and I’m waiting.
Good, turn right again, and walk alongside that new street until you have a choice of going forward or turning left, onto another street. Let me know when you are where you can turn left, but don’t do that yet.
OK, I am standing alongside the road and I could turn left onto another street, but I have not, I’m just waiting.
Great, now make sure no traffic is going to run you over, then turn left and walk alongside the right side of that other road until another road goes right or left but you cannot go forward, do not go into that road, just let me know when you could turn left or right, without crossing a street.
OK, that was tough, there was a kid on a bicycle that I had to let go first. This is scary. I’m waiting at the end of the road, and can only turn left or right.
Right!
You want me to go right?
No, I hit the wrong key.
So, I go left?
No, you DO go right, but make sure you stay on the right side of the road, OK, and walk until the road comes to another road, but don’t go across that road, just let me know when you get to that other road, you should see a STOP sign.
This is confusing, I see a stop sign right now.
Yes, but you have already stopped, now I want you to turn right, and walk until you see another stop sign.
OK, I walked and now I see another stop sign. I’m stopped.
Hmm, is that new stop sign close enough for you to touch?
No, I can just barely see it up the road a ways.
I see, I need you to continue walking until you can touch the post of the stop sign, then stop and let me know you have stopped.
You can see the stop sign too? Cool, where are you?
No, but I know where it is. I’m sitting on my couch.
OK, I am touching the stop sign post, and people are looking at me like I’m kinda deranged.
Hmm, are you running Microsoft Windows??
Yes, how did you know?
Never mind, let go of the stop sign post and turn right and walk on the right side of the road, until you see my bank on your right. Once you see my bank, you walk up to it, open the door and walk inside.
OK, thanx programmer dude, you Linux people sure are SMART!!!
You are quite welcome Furry, let me know if you have any trouble finding my bank.
(4 days later)
OH man, I’m sorry to bother you, but I cannot find your bank.
WHAT??? Are you still walking?
Yes, shortly after your last instruction I had a program exception and all I could see was a blue screen with some undecipherable text and numbers, I have kept walking but never saw your bank.
Furry, you need to reboot. but before you do that you need to stop walking.
OK, I am trying to stop walking, but I need to know if I should “Quit continuing” or “Continue quitting”!
It doesn’t matter Furry, I’m on my way with a Linux Disc.
SEE?? Programming is EASY!!
Pop Quiz!
Write a program that describes how to get from YOUR bank to MY house, Make sure you include getting inside back to my couch.
Next: Getting Maximum value from NoOp using Binary code!
Just Joking, actually I’ll be discussing some real programming for beginners, starting with language difficulties!